Some of my pet peeves: useless hipster scum

Being a blogger and an admirer of many sorts of music I realize that one might make the mistake of categorizing me as a "hipster" and before anyone jumps to that conclusion, let me stop you all.
I can't emphasize this enough: I HATE HIPSTERS AND POSERS! (and the two terms are normally synonymous, in my experience)

Just because you dress snappily, have Chuck Taylors on your feet, wear thick black glasses, smoke Parliament Lights religiously, and have heard one song by the Smiths does not make you an expert on the Smiths, for example. Letting on that you know more than you really do about culture is definitely a trick for boosting one's self esteem (and we all do it now and again) but it's not a grounds to build and authentic character upon or develop your identity. The favorite reply of the hipster to any sort of commentary on art or music, whether or not they know about the thing in question, is invariably "yeah man!" They long to appear groomed and cultured without ever lifting a finger to fulfill this desire. There's no shame in saying "no man, I haven't heard of that band. Tell me more about them" or "no I've never read that book. What's it about?" And the hipster is not capable of saying things like that.

They'll normally possess a rudimentary knowledge of existential or intramundane philosophy, wear it on their sleeves and vehemently deny the existence of anything transcendent. They lean left normally (which despite my conservative world-view doesn't normally bother me) but in a slavish, apathetic sort of way that leads me to believe that they've adopted these beliefs out of convenience rather than real conviction. My philosophy is live and let live when it comes to the beliefs and lifestyles of others but that doesn't mean I can't vent every now and then, haha.

In addition to these vexations two things I find most hipsters lacking in are class and ambition. By and large, they have the etiquette and polish of five-year-olds but have access to mommy and daddy's money to spend on tickets to see bands they barely know, PBR (or whatever happens to be the hippest beer at the time), as much pot as they can possibly smoke, a closet sized apartment that gives them the illusion that they're independent and living in the real world, and tuition for art school without every really accomplishing anything there. Of course I'm painting a narrow and perhaps unfair picture of the garden-variety hipster but when you're sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by them boasting about the huge bag weed they just purchased with the money their parents gave them for books, you can't help but get a little annoyed.

They bellow loudly about "aw man I love that band!" in a pathetic attempt to attract the company of other hipsters who will agree with them and in doing so stroke each others' already tumid egos. Now, it's true that I enjoy many (probably even most) bands that hipsters do but I couldn't give two shits who knows that I do or not. I mean, I love writing/talking about music but I do it because it like to write and inform other people who might enjoy the same music, not because I want rack up points on any sort of hipness scorecard.

I realize my assessment of hipsters has been harsh thus far but as a caveat I will say that I never judge a book by its cover. I might be sizing you up thinking that you're a crass, immature, piece of hipster garbage but I'll never cement that suspicion: I'll let you do it for me. If I talk to you and find out that you're a reasonable guy or gal who just happens to dress a certain way or hold certain beliefs that are consistent with hipsterdom or both, I won't think any less of you. There are plenty of people who dress in a "hip" manner, who listen to "hip" music who are thoroughly genuine and decent but there are also those who revel in the image in order to feel better than others or better than they really are. Because when I use the word hipster, it has a pejorative meaning. I use it to denote posers who use their hipness to belittle others or live in a fantasy world where they never actually have to act like grown ups.

And that is my pet peeve of the week.