Houston Press Music Awards: My Take (the right one)

To say I don't like bitching about things would be a lie. I'm a music critic. I love a good bitch session but at the same time, I love my city. I don't like to cut down anyone who represents Houston to the outside world but Houston Press has made some serious booboos in their 2011 music awards. But to give them (and voters?) credit for their successes, let's start with what they got right.

• Local Musician of the Year: Robert Ellis
• Best Jazz: Free Radicals
• Best Miscellaneous Instrument: Geoffrey Muller
• Best Blues: Little Joe Washington
• Best Zydeco: Zydeco Dots

Ok those make sense. But here's where they (or we) fucked up a bit:

• First of all, the best music store was Guitar Center. Their headquarters are in CA and they are all insufferable douchebag fuckheads. Of course, there are some douchebags who work at local music places like Rockin Robins for example (not talking about the majority of employees, just one or two specifically) but seriously, are you going to sell out your city like that? You couldn't find one local business to fill the bill? That's laziness.
  
  
• Secondly, touching on a similar theme, the best music venue was House of Blues. This is a true what-the-fuck moment. House of Blues is over-priced, a national chain, and has the worst parking ever. Is this really what people want to represent the city of Houston? A place that serves 10 dollar jack and cokes?

I didn't get to vote so I won't bitch too much more but I just hope that these last two things don't happen again. Because they're not really Houstonian in origin, they probably shouldn't have even been on the ballot.

Awarding either of those two is like saying that Pizza Hut serves Houston's best pizza: yes, you could theoretically reach a consensus like that with enough votes but why was it an option in the first place? Houston has way more to offer than Guitar Center and House of Blues, both of which are related to authentic music as much as hugging is related to HIV.